


The HUD that might display if you date Papyrus

by Askellie (NadaNine)



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Crime Fighting, Dating, Dating HUD, Fluff, Overprotective Older Brother, Romance, Silly, dating shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-22 03:33:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9580967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NadaNine/pseuds/Askellie
Summary: When you’d asked Papyrus out on a date, you hadn’t known exactly what you were letting yourself in for.Crime fighting, egg hatching and a small annoying dog.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was my undertalesecretsanta gift for thegreatwordologist over on Tumblr! The request was for a Reader/Skeleton fic with a preference for fluff over angst. I don’t see nearly enough fics that play with the dating HUD, so I thought I’d give it a shot. c:

When you’d asked Papyrus out on a date, you hadn’t known exactly what you were letting yourself in for.

Sure, you’d had guesses. You were prepared for a boisterous outing, maybe to some sort of restaurant where you might even convince Papyrus to try the spaghetti this time. You were prepared to be stared at, because even though most people in this area were open minded, Papyrus tended to draw a lot of attention wherever he went simply because of his volume. You were prepared for hijinks, for over-the-top romantic gestures, for more awkward but sweet declarations of his budding feelings for you and appreciation of your presence in his life.

You were not prepared for the dazzling array of graphs and bars magically emblazoned across your vision, shifting with your sight as if it had been grafted onto your eyeballs.

Papyrus was staring at you intently, his expression hopeful. “What do you think?”

“It’s, uh…” It was kind of overwhelming, honestly. The crime map in the lower corner was kind of concerning…and was that an egg? You glanced discreetly to the side and found Sans smirking at you with a knowing, amused expression. You resisted the urge to make a face at him, bringing your attention back to the display in front of you. You frowned slightly. “What exactly is the population graph mapping? I don’t know any population that goes up and down that quickly.”

Papyrus puffed up proudly. “It is the population of our feelings for one another! See how quickly it’s growing with our rising passions!?”

It certainly was shooting up alarmingly quickly. You reached out a hand in wonder, trying to see if it had any effect on the floating images. Your fingers passed seamlessly the ‘Reel it in’ bar and the population box, but when you touched the egg you actually felt a little spark of contact against your skin. Papyrus made an odd, choked sound, and when you looked up there was a magnificent orange flush across his cheekbones.

“H-human! The egg is for later in the date! If you hatch it n-now, then-”

“Things will probably get a little too egg-citing,” Sans injected, winking.

Papyrus rounded on his brother. “Sans, no! No puns on my first date with the human.”

“Sorry bro,” Sans said, not sounding particularly repentant. You still weren’t entirely sure how much he approved of you. Given how protective he was, you’d been waiting for some kind of private, threatening talk about being good to Papyrus and what would happen if you ended up hurting him. You’d expected floating magical bones to play a role in that discussion.

Instead you’d had nothing aside from that one time your house had been mysteriously infested with whoopie-cushions. Papyrus had nodded sympathetically, advising you to keep more lights on since apparently they liked to breed in the dark. Sans, with wide-eyed innocent sockets, had offered to sell you a tank to keep some of them in in case you wanted a new pet. You’d discreetly rehomed a few under the cushion on his favourite side of the couch but you’d never actually seen if he’d been caught out by any of them.

“It’s, ah. A bit different from what I’m used to,” you admitted to Papyrus. At his confused expression, you clarified, “Humans don’t use a dating HUD.”

“But then how do you fight crime together?” he asked, his dismayed expression melting into new excitement. “Do humans just have natural instincts for tracking down miscreants?”

“No, we uh…” You blinked, befuddled. “Crime fighting is a date activity?”

“Of course! Battle is a time-honored tradition! What better way to prove your skills and bravery to a potential partner?” Papyrus’s eyes were sparkling with anticipation, hands clapped over his breastplate. “Of course it’s a slightly more advanced technique from my manual, but since I’m practically an expert at dating, I thought it was only reasonable to provide myself more of a challenge. Never fear, human! The Great Papyrus is watching over you, and will keep you safe from harm!”

It was hard not to feel moved by such a sincere declaration, although you jumped a little as a new display suddenly blinked into existence with a muted whoosh of power as your ‘dating power’ jumped from zero to a quarter of a way up the bar.

“Nice work, bro,” Sans approved, his chin resting on his hands as he leaned over the counter. “You’ll be reeling ‘em in in no time.”

“Nyeh heh heh!” Papyrus preened, looking immensely proud of himself. “Come, human! We have many exciting adventures awaiting us!”

“You kids have fun,” Sans said with a nonchalant wave as Papyrus all but dragged you out the door. You’d have thought he might have some sort of objection to his little brother running off to vanquish mysterious assailants, but from his sleepy eyed stare you suspected he was going to take advantage of your absence to indulge in an afternoon nap.

You’d known dating a monster would be different, but this really wasn’t how you’d expected it to go. Despite that, there was a warm knot in your chest at the feeling of Papyrus’s gloved hand around your own. The ‘dating power’ bar shot up a little further.

* * *

There were no real ‘bad districts’ in Ebott. The town had been practically remade when monsters had come to the surface, their influence of goodness and compassion revitalising the community and the boon of magical goods and services bolstering the economy. Looking for trouble was actually kind of a difficult endeavour, even with the guidance of the crime map. All you and Papyrus managed to track down were two illegally parked cars and a pile of garbage that had been dumped next to a trash can instead of in it (Papyrus stopped to pick it all up, grumbling about inconsiderate litterers who didn’t even stick around for a proper scolding).

“I’m sorry, human,” Papyrus apologised, looking dejected. “Normally finding a worthy opponent for a date activity is much easier than this.”

You patted his arm, assuring him you didn’t mind. It was actually kind of a fun way to spend the afternoon, now that you were no longer concerned about actually getting into a serious fight. Other humans, at least, probably wouldn’t be so understanding of the monster definition of a proper romantic battle.

“Oh! What about this one?” you asked him suddenly, pointing to a new hotspot of criminal activity that had suddenly burst into existence on the map. It only occurred to you a second later that having it appear so suddenly likely meant the crime in question was still in progress, and there was a higher chance you might actually end up confronting someone, but by then it was too late. Papyrus had cheered immensely, and was leading you on with long, purposeful strides that you had to push yourself to keep up with.

You didn’t feel at all reassured that your path took you through a maze of narrow, oppressive back-alleys, well away from the more populated roads. You were definitely having second thoughts when you came very suddenly upon a trio of monsters who looked the very image of sullen rebelliousness. Two of them were bird-like, standing as tall as Papyrus’s shoulder with unnervingly sharp looking beaks and claws. The final figure was squat and round, and reminded you inanely of a snowball wearing an enormous pointed hat.

All of them were standing oddly to attention, and perked up the moment you and Papyrus rounded the corner. One of the birds stepped forward, green feathers flaring to intimidate you, its gaze shielded by a broad pair of shades that were entirely unnecessary for the dim afternoon sunlight.

“Halt, skeleton and human!” it declared dramatically, spreading its wings to block your way. “We have claimed this alleyway in the name of shameless loitering and no-good plotting. You’d better leave if you know what’s good for you!”

The instinctive rush of adrenaline and apprehension was somewhat dampened by the fact that the bird’s theatrical posturing seemed like the kind of behaviour one would find in a bad action movie villain. It was so over the top, it was hard to believe it was actually being serious.

“Loitering!?” Papyrus exclaimed, looking disproportionately aghast. “That’s against the law! I’m afraid I can’t allow you to continue this illegal activity. The honour of monsters everywhere is at stake!”

“Maybe we can just ask them nicely to stop?” you suggested to Papyrus quietly, but in the tiny confines of the alley your voice carried easily to the trio, and the bird gave a mocking laugh.

“Ha! We cannot be stopped by mere words! This is a protest against the oppressive authority of society! We are making our stand. Here. In this alley.”

“Yeah!” the snowball backed up its companion, hoping excitedly. You weren’t sure its tiny arms and unwieldy body would actually be much of a threat, but the point of its hat did look dangerously sharp. “Anarchy rules! Freedom for the people!”

“Such unbearable delinquency!” Papyrus bemoaned, briefly covering his eye-sockets in grief before striking a valiant pose. “But if we cannot stop you with words, then we will have to change your minds through force! Prepare to face our might!”

You blinked bemusedly as he suddenly turned towards you, his expression changing to one of abashment. “By which I mean…maybe just my might. These monsters are still young, and even though you are a gentle human you could still be quite dangerous. I know you were looking forward to fighting crime with me, but maybe you could just…watch from the sidelines and cheer me on vigorously?”

The trio of monsters seemed content to wait silently while you and Papyrus talked. You eyed them dubiously before taking a step back.

“Sure,” you agreed readily, because you had no experience with fighting monsters and no desire to actually do so. You were half-tempted to convince Papyrus that maybe a strategic retreat would be a wiser course of action, but he seemed so passionate about demonstrating his prowess to you. You didn’t want to disappoint him.

“Are you done?” the bird asked impatiently before an odd look crossed its face and it coughed awkwardly into its wing feathers. “I mean…are you ready, skeleton, to face your doom?”

“The only doomed thing here is your sense of irresponsibility!” Papyrus declared, stepping forward, his cape blowing in the breeze. Magical bullets began forming in the air, bone shapes around Papyrus and a mingled collection of spikes and crescents around his opponents. Despite the almost corny build-up, things were suddenly looking much more serious now that live magic was involved.

You held your breath as projectiles began to fly back and forth in intricate patterns, somehow managing to stay confined to the small area between the buildings. The glowing constructs of magic were both beautiful and eerie, although it strained your sight to try and follow it all, especially with the HUD in the way. The crime map was now flaring warning with red, the population graph was shooting upwards at an alarming pace, and the small white dog that had been plaguing your radar since the beginning of the date had inexplicably decided to show itself and was running around between the combatants, barking excitedly and chasing after Papyrus’s bones. You were tempted to step in and rescue it – or maybe rescue Papyrus from it, since it seemed to be causing him immense frustration – but you weren’t quite sure what would happen if one of the bullets hit you. A couple of them had peppered Papyrus’s armour but didn’t seem to be causing much harm. In retaliation, the bones had knocked off the snowball’s hat, sending it stumbling down the alley in chase of it, and the two birds were yelping as bones smacked bruisingly against their tough, feathered bodies.

Papyrus didn’t look like he was losing yet, but it was three-to-one. Although you obligingly cheered as he scored a particularly sound looking hit against the boss-bird, you were wondering if maybe you should have insisted on stepping in after all. What if something happened? What if he got really hurt? What if-?

“You don’t need to look so worried, you know.”

“Gah!” you yelped, almost tripping over your own feet as you stumbled back from the unexpected voice at your elbow. “Oh my god, Sans, you gave me a heart attack.”

“Sorry,” he said, grinning at you. “Guess it is kinda hard to take your eyes off my bro. He’s pretty cool, right?”

You looked back at Papyrus. He had the same glow about him that he gained every time he sparred with Undyne. You’d thought maybe it was specific to their friendship, but looking at him now there was an unbridled pleasure on his face as he called his magic into being and gamely called out encouragements to his opponents.

“He’s the best,” you agreed, unable to help the fondness creeping into your tone. Then, realising how sappy that sounded, you shut your mouth and tried not to blush as Sans laughed at you.

“Right. And he wouldn’t lose, fighting for what he believes in,” Sans told you. “But just so you know, those kids aren’t really all that bad. I just paid them in candy bars to play along for a little bit. They’ll give up before anyone gets hurt.”

“Sans!” you exclaimed, not sure if you were offended or relieved. The way the bird had acted had seemed rather scripted to you. You couldn’t say the revelation came as a surprise. On the other hand, you didn’t know how Papyrus would feel if he found out his battle was just a sham set up by his brother.

“Eh.” He shrugged, indifferent to your scolding. “Just helping you guys out. It wouldn’t be a proper date if he didn’t get to show off his magic for you. It’s working, right?”

You ducked your head, looking pointedly at the ground. Truthfully, the dating power had been steadily rising over the last couple of minutes as you watched Papyrus elegantly summon his bones into existence and sweep them towards the other monsters. It wasn’t that you revelled in the violence, but magic was magic. It was immensely impressive. Not to mention you could see how tight his control was as he aimed his bones for the broad backs and feathered flanks of his opponents, deliberately avoiding anything hurtful or vital.

Shamefully, Sans’s words made the bar lunge forward again, nearly hitting the limit of the box. The dog radar was going nuts, blinking rapidly as though there were dozens of dogs instead of just the one, and the egg seemed to have grown a few sizes and was now rocking back and forth in preparation for…whatever it did. Papyrus hadn’t actually explained that part to you yet.

“Yep. That’s what I thought.” Sans winked at you, looking amused. “You might wanna make sure you get back home with my bro before that egg hatches. No yolk, it’ll be a bit awkward if that happens in public.”

“What!? Why!?” But by the time you’d turned back to Sans he’d already disappeared, leaving behind nothing but a violent spike in the tension graph.


End file.
